You know our Grammys Open Post last night? I came thisclose to letting Madonna’s grillz host it, and that was before I even knew she was going to walk the red carpet in her grill, with her son. I just had a premonition that she would try to be all “hip” like all the “kids” with their grillz, and lo and behold, there she was, like the Portrait of Dorian Gray (if Dorian Gray maintained his youthful appearance with enough Botox to immobilize a rhino).

Madonna’s date for the evening was her son David Banda. My guess? Rocco refused to go with his mom because she was wearing the grill. David seems like a pretty cool kid though, and he said during the E! interview that he wants his own grill, just like his mom. As for Madonna, she wore this Ralph Lauren suit which – taken apart from her crazy face and the grill – is nice and flattering, if a little Al Capone-ish. There was a feeling that Madonna was even jealous of the attention her son was getting. She did interrupt him when he was talking, so God knows.

As I mentioned in the Grammy wrap-up post, Madonna performed with Macklemore and Ryan Lewis. I liked the idea of it more than the execution – the idea of pairing “Open Your Heart” with “Same Love” was solid. The execution, however… well, Madge couldn’t even open her mouth properly. She hobbled out, looking absolutely ancient, then mumbled her lyrics through a haze of Botox, fillers and some cheap face surgery. All so she could seem young. Like the kids!

Photos courtesy of WENN.

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